and in dating news.... *exasperation warning ahead*

[devohoneybee]

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Meeting someone reasonable, why so hard?

This guy (blind date from match.com), really nothing terrible, just...

Spent the first 30 minutes of our "brunch date" telling me why he's not eating, even though he invited me for brunch, including a detailed listing of his "supplement product plan alternating dieting and cleansing"...

Didn't give me one compliment or appreciative look (I spent an hour between hair, make-up, and choosing a very fetching outfit showing off my assets)...

Never asked me one question about myself...

Insisted on showing me multiple examples of his "poetry" (not to be too catty about it, but it couldn't be characterized as anything but doggerel... which is fine, doggerel has its place, but...it's better if you KNOW it's doggerel)...

And then started bashing the place I work, and when I asked what he was basing his very broad generalizations on, said, "the news" without anything more specific. As in, "the homeless [specific population] problem is so big and no one at [the place I work] cares." After I explained the 5 residential programs we have for homeless [population], the multiple places we partner with in the community for emergency shelter, and the voucher housing program, he said, "oh." Sure, it's still a big problem, but do not tell me "no one cares" without even a smidgen of curiosity about the actual, you know, data.

*steamed*

Also, he thinks the "date went well."

Thing is, these dates are so few and far between, that when they are happening I keep telling myself to "give it a chance" because, you know, it must be me being too picky or something. So I failed when it came to saying, "actually, for me, it really didn't."

In summary, ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Comments

[devohoneybee]

it's true that I "went along." but felt myself becoming increasingly short, in my own reactions, and then trying not to show that. *sigh*

on another note, how does this wandering in via network page work? *curious*

and thanks for responding! it does make me feel less crazy.

[dragonfly]

If you're looking at the journal of someone on your reading list, you can click their "reading" tab and now you're reading the people they read. Who may or may not know you at all.

Also, if you search the entire Dreamwidth site for, say, Captain America, you'll get results from all over. That's kind of "the network," too.

[hunningham]

Nope, you're not crazy at all. Showing you their (bad) poetry just sounds wrong for a meet-you date. And if he knew you worked at workplace, then his knowledgeness bashing of the homeless programs is a really classic example of mansplaining.

All so interesting - it sounds like someone who has never been challenged or criticised and really doesn't expect it. Run a mile.

Network = network link on the menu bar, and is same as friends-of-friends on the old livejournal. People hadn't posted enough on my reading page, so I went to explore my network.

[devohoneybee]

cool! welcome to the conversation, and i appreciate your comments. :)

mansplaining, yeah, that. it was worse than bashing the homeless programs -- he wasn't even curious to know that they EXISTED.

the somewhat confusing part is that he does have very many nice characteristics, including the work HE does for a different disadvantaged population, which sounds very sensitive and caring. for example we perused a local bookshop and he was very engaging and enthusiastic about finding appropriate reading material for his group, which i found appealing. i think he's a good guy, but a terrible conversationalist.

that said, good conversation is pretty important to me *cough* spoiled by fandom *cough*

*sigh*

[rhi]

He's a 'good guy' who spent the entire date talking about himself rather than asking about the person he supposedly came to meet/date? I'm kinda thinking not so good a guy, honestly. I'm going to agree with the 'run a mile.'

[devohoneybee]

yeah, i know. *sigh*