a journey to the east

[devohoneybee]

Last week I flew to New Jersey to attend the bat mizvah of my cousin's daughter. I found it unexpectedly moving -- many of these events have devolved into vapid, overdone, way-too-much-money-involved rituals of excess and cacophony, with precious little of the original meaning and intent in evidence. Not so last week in New Jersey. The bat mitzvah girl, Yasmine, literally flowered from little girl to woman in front of our eyes. I'm told she had been frozen with fear in the months approaching the event, and had barely managed to learn 3 lines of her haftorah, the portion of the reading, in Hebrew, that she was to chant in front of the congregation. By the time I and the other guests arrived, to unseasonably warm March weather, there was none of this to be seen. Yasmine was poised, confidant, capable, and lovely. She led the service, chanted blessings and readings, and ducked when candy was thrown at her (yes, it is part of the ritual *s*). Her mother, my cousin, spoke movingly of the connection between the haftorah and what her daughter had gone through: she interpreted the description of the eternal enemy, Amalek, whose "name is to be blotted out" as the internal enemy of fear, and beautifully described how Yasmine had defeated her own personal Amalek. At the party, later in the day, Yasmine danced, like princess, like queen. She danced with anyone and everyone -- drawing in the shyest of the participants, showering everyone in the grace of her radiance and joy. The band alternated western style and Persian music for her father's side of the family, and the dancing blended seamlessly between one and another. A community came together to welcome this child into her womanly beauty and responsibility.

Yasmine is only 12. She has many years to go to become an "adult" as we understand it. But last week, in Fairlawn, I saw her come fully into her own, and it was a blessing on all of us who witnessed it.

Comments

[miintikwa.livejournal.com]

I just finished reading that in my book. :) It sounds like such a lovely ceremony. I really think I want to go to a synagogue for a service, but I'm terribly afraid of making an idiot of myself, or something.

I'm going to try and get up the courage to call the local Temple eventually...

[devohoneybee.livejournal.com]

Actually, Jews are pretty individualistic LOL. In other words, if you don't follow all the "rules", chances are you won't be the only one. People might be very into the prayer, or more into talking with their neighbor. Some pray out loud and some silently, or not at all, just observing. Some sing, some on key, others not. Some places have beautiful melodies and others just seem to drone. It depends on the type of synagogue, of course (orthodox, conservative, reform, reconstructionist, havurah, etc -- not exactly "denominations" but all variants of Jewish observance)as well as Sephardic vs. Ashkenazic (Eastern vs. European traditions), and individual differences in communities, but in most Jewish services across the board, basically sometimes you sit down, and sometimes you stand up. You can pretty much tell what to do from watching what others do and following along. There are some things you do with a little bow, but no one looks to see if everyone is doing it, and besides, it's really up to the individual. It's perfectly all right to be an observer, and to ask the gabbai (a sort of usher) to let you know what is considered polite as an observer. While this is true mainly of orthodox or some conservative synagogues, it doesn't hurt anywhere for a woman to wear non-revealing clothes, skirts rather than pants, and a top or dress with sleeves. Married women in the more traditional places cover their heads (hat, scarf, etc). Also consider what sort of service you'd like to see. I like Friday night, for welcoming the Sabbath. Saturday morning is more extensive and include reading from the Torah (chanted in Hebrew, with some interesting rituals around the handling of the Torah scroll), and holidays each have flavors of their own. In short, it would be pretty hard to make an idiot of yourself -- there's just too much going on, and too many different ways to do it. :)