honey and sting

so, after the 3rd time the guy mentions that he feels "intimidated" by my "accomplishments", i asked, "is this going to be a problem?"  

and the answer wasn't "no."   he also mentioned "low self esteem", "lack of confidence", being "self-defeating", and feeling that, compared with his high school and college classmates, he hasn't achieved much.

so that was pretty clearly it for me.   then at the end, as i'm attempting to go home ("long day, tired, thanks for dinner, yadda yadda"), he asks if we can meet again.  

why so self-defeating, jdate man?  I pretty much gave it to him straightforwardly.  I told him i need someone who feels himself my equal, not someone who is intimidated by the very idea of me having, you know, published stuff.   that him not having academic achievement doesn't bother me in the least -- that's actually not a criterion for me.  what is, is a sense of passion, meaning, and yes, self-possession.

sorry, emo jdate man.   to his credit (he really was a nice guy), he thanked me for the input.   and... meant it, i think.   sigh.